Resting in Him...

He holds the key of all unknown
And I am glad.
If other hands should hold the key,
Or if He trusted it to me,
I might be sad.

What if tomorrows cares were here
Without its rest?
I'd rather He unlocked the day,
And as the hours swing open say,
"My will is best."

Enough, this covers all my wants!
And so I rest.
For what I cannot, He can see,
And in His care I safe shall be,
Forever blessed!
-Grace Livingston Hill

Tonight I'm just so thankful for Him. His peace is encompassing and His love wraps around me like a warm blanket. What a privilege to know Him!
I pray peace and blessings on all of you...sleep tight!

Despise Not the Day of Small Beginnings...

BOTT ’09 was awesome! I’m so thankful we were able to go. Although I got sick and wasn’t able to attend all the services, I was still very blessed by the services I did attend. The biggest blessing to me actually happened on Tuesday night. Let me give you some background:

Over the past few months I have really been struggling with feeling inadequate for the role of a minister’s wife. I know, I Know, kind of late for that, right? But just because I know that God called me and my husband to ministry doesn’t necessarily mean that I automatically feel prepared to lead EVERY area that minister’s wives often lead. The funny thing is, 10 years ago, I DID feel like I could do the job. I had the world by the tail and all the answers. However, maturity has a way of making us dumb, doesn’t it? It seemed to me that all the minister’s wives I have observed lately have been super women who could do everything! I was really anxious about all of this…to the point that I would have to just stop thinking about it because I would get so stressed out about it. You see, I’m not a superwoman. Yes, God has given me certain gifts, but He didn’t give them ALL to me! You can’t believe how many times I asked God, “But what if they don’t have a _________________? I can’t ________________!” Or “Who is going to _____________________? I don’t know how to _____________________________!” Fill in the blank – I probably said it! So a few weeks ago, I finally decided to pour it out into my prayer journal. BTW, if you don’t have a prayer journal, I would recommend that you start one. It is an awesome way to see how God answers prayer.

Here is an excerpt from that entry: I’m so scared of the next step! I’m so completely unprepared to be a minister’s wife – I know you will equip me, but – what if I mess up? What if I mess up bad? I don’t want to be a liability to Chris’s ministry…I’m so scared I’m just a failure waiting to happen. Please help me, Lord. Give me a genuine God-confidence.

Well, Tuesday night as Bro. Anthony Mangun preached God began doing something in me. After the message I began to pray and I felt like the Lord touched me and reminded me that the most important thing I could ever do for our ministry is to pray. I didn’t need lessons, a personality change, or even experience to be able to do it and it was the one thing that was imperative. After that I wept and repented for thinking that the success or failure of our ministry depended on the abilities that we brought to the table; that WE could make it happen.

Last night, as I journaled my thanks, the Lord brought a scripture to mind. Now, when the Lord drops a scripture into my heart I always like to go back and look at the context. I want to be exactly sure about what He is saying. The scripture was found in Zech. 4:6 and when I went back to look at the entire chapter I was so excited! The chapter tells about Zechariah’s visit with an angel who gives him a vision of a golden candlestick and two olive trees. The angel has come to encourage him and Zerubbabel (same person, different name?) to rebuild the temple. But before he gives the word of encouragement, he reminds Zechariah that it’s only by God’s spirit and not by human effort that the house will be built. The golden candlestick is the usual golden candlestick with the seven “bowls” that hold the oil. Candlesticks are always a type of the church (as is shown in Revelation). The two olive trees on either side of the candlestick are very interesting. According to the vision, the two olive trees continually drip oil into the candlestick, feeding it the oil needed to keep a perpetual flame going. Biblical scholars don’t agree on what the two olive trees symbolize but the interpretation that I favor is the one that says that Jesus Christ serves in the dual role as both our King and Priest (both man and God)…it’s His spirit that keeps the flame of the candlestick going. Notice that there is no man needed to keep the flame going, but the olive trees supply all the oil needed themselves. Therefore, “Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit saith the Lord.” You see, God is going to get His work done regardless of my ability or inability. If I will stay connected to Him through right relationship, He will make sure it all comes out right. It’s His work to build a church, I can’t do it without Him (and I don’t want to!). If I will do that, then he will prepare the way to make sure that His work gets done. I was so encouraged when I read that and let me say that I had really good prayer after that!

Later, when I got ready for bed, I grabbed the latest book I’ve been reading, The Role of the Shepherdess by Sis. Ensey. I know it’s been around for a while, but I’ve just discovered it. It is a really awesome, nuts and bolts kind of book. Really great teaching! Well, I’ve been reading it for several days so I was about halfway through, somewhere in the “Ministry Wives” section. What do you think was one of the first things I read last night?

Here, I’ll share: Having a right attitude towards self means understanding that God made each of us to be different. It is not who I am but who He is and my relationship with Him that makes the difference…If He had wanted clones of some great minister’s wife, He could have done that, but that’s not what He wanted. He knew you before He chose you, and He has a special place for you in His kingdom. So don’t try to mimic or copy someone you admire. Be yourself, be real and let God use you!

So I’m really thankful for BOTT and what God did for me there. I know there will still be times that I don’t feel equal to the task, but now I have something to look back on that will help me to overcome the fear and anxiety. Isn’t the Lord so good to hear us when we cry out to Him? I’m so thankful for His patience and His grace. And now I know that He will give me that God-confidence that I need so desperately if I stay close to Him.

Bear not a single care,
One is too much for thee,
Mine is the work and mine alone,
Thy work to rest in me.
-Grace Livingston Hill

Happy Birthday To You!

Today is the best- Mom- in- the- world’s birthday! As of today, she is every bit of 29 years old…every bit! I called her a little while ago and sang to her in my best yucky, sinus infection voice…but that’s the crazy thing about Moms…she still liked it! Mom’s a little under the weather herself and if she doesn’t get better she might not get to come see me for Thanksgiving. Dad said he was coming anyway. I told him I’ve got her dressing recipe and her coconut pie recipe…he can take her a leftover plate. She didn’t like that idea at all! Then we offered to ALLOW her to make all our favorite dishes and just send them with him…she didn’t like that either! Then she proceeded to remind us that it was HER birthday and we should be sweet to her! LOL

Seriously, I appreciate my Mom for so many reasons. The main reason is that she has set such a great pattern for me to follow. Children learn by watching the people in their lives and I certainly did. There are so many times that I’ve been faced with a decision that became a non-decision because I could reach back and say, “Well, this is the way we did it at home, so this is the way I will do it now.”

Faithful church attendance was a non-decision for me because we were always at the house of God when the doors were open. (That included the revival services that lasted until mid-night!)

Serving in the church was a non-decision because Mom has played the piano (or organ) at Eastview for 28 years. We never got to church on time…we had to be at every service at least two hours early for practice. By the way: she’s never had a piano lesson in her life…The church she attended as a teenager didn’t have a pianist so one night she prayed and asked God to give her the ability to play. She got up from praying, sat down at the piano, and started picking out chords. The rest is history. Now, she’s the most anointed pianists I’ve ever heard. I love to hear her play! She also is the one who taught me to sing alto. She could hear it naturally but I had to be taught. Some of the best advice I’ve ever had about music ministry came from my Mom when I was a teenager. I was complaining about how some people on the praise team wouldn’t be faithful to practices but wanted to be on the stage for special services. I wasn’t a very strong alto so I was always sidelined. She told me to just be faithful and to keep doing what was right and that God would take care of me. She was right. One year later, I was on the platform every night for special revival services for 14 days straight! And it wasn’t because she maneuvered things for me behind the scenes. She knew God was faithful and she trusted me to His care.

Another thing I appreciate about her is that she has always had great love and respect for the ministry. We didn’t “have the Pastor for lunch”. What the Pastor preached, we lived…all the time. I remember being about 12 when I realized for the first time that not everyone in the church lived the way we did. I was shocked! Didn’t they hear the Pastor preach about that??? But it didn’t matter to Mom what anyone else was doing; we were going to do right. And we did. Different questions of standards have never been a problem with me because I have never seen my Mom do it, nor did she ever allow us to do it!

I know what Mom sounds like when she prays. I know what it is to walk in and see her reading her Bible. For most of my high school years, I woke every morning to the sound of her playing her piano and singing to the Lord. That was part of her devotion time. When Mom took me to school, she would take my hand and pray over me every time. Most nights we had prayer together as a family and on Friday nights (before we were old enough for youth service) we had family night. That was a big devotion night and we had sword (Bible) drills and played Bible trivia games. Once we were old enough for youth service, Mom probably spent so much money on gas taxiing me to youth services, youth rallies, campground services and anything else I asked to go to. She and Dad always made sure I had nice clothes to wear, even though we didn’t have much money. She probably curled and fixed my hair so many times she was sick of it! Every Saturday night was spent curling my hair in pink sponge rollers. Oh, the torture of pulling those sponge rollers out! Precious memories…how they linger!

Well, I could go on, but suffice it to say that I have learned so much from my Mom…she is my pattern, my benchmark for how I should live for God. She has lived for Him passionately for so many years and has helped me to know what a follower of Christ looks like. I love you, Mom…and today I rise up and call you blessed. I hope I can pass the pattern on to the young people and children in my life.

It's Monday...

It’s Monday and it’s raining. We got up at five this morning to get ready for our day...I taught my classes and actually got off close to the time I’m supposed to get off! Yay!

Yesterday’s services were really great…Last night Bro. Smith preached an awesome message about Tolerating the Inappropriate. I think it’s definitely General Conference worthy…everyone who calls themselves a Pentecostal should hear it.

But for me, I really enjoyed yesterday morning’s worship service. As Chris and I were leading the praise team, I just became overwhelmed with thankfulness to be in God’s house again. I say this often, but there are so many other places we could be…and I don’t just mean physically. We could be in sickness, or in an unhappy marriage, or in a storm of some kind, but right at that moment we have the privilege of being in God’s house, with God’s people in God’s presence. Contrary to what the world says, it really doesn’t get any better than that! The presence of the Lord was so sweet as we sang yesterday and I felt such a refreshing and faith. I knew that if someone could believe for a miracle, and was willing to act on that faith, God was there, ready to meet needs. It brought to mind an experience I had several years ago.

I had been fighting the flu or strep or some type of sickness in my body for several days but made myself go to church on a Wednesday night. To say that I did not feel good is an understatement. At the close of the service, Pastor called everyone around the front for a time of prayer and worship. I remember standing there and saying something along the lines of, “Lord, you know this is really a sacrifice for me. You know how bad I feel right now. Please help me. I don’t feel good.” Nothing earth shattering, nothing dramatic…just talking to Him. Suddenly, the Lord brought back to mind some good, old fashioned teaching I had heard in the past: anything can happen in an atmosphere of worship …I could lift my hands and without anyone laying hands on me, I could be healed because Jesus was there in the midst of my praise. So I did it. I raised my hands and began to worship the Lord and thank Him for my healing. Immediately, I began to feel different…sort of warm. As I continued to worship, I just became lost in His presence for a few minutes. When I finally stopped, I knew that I was healed. I wasn’t sick at all after that.

That was the type of faith I felt yesterday morning. I was so overwhelmed, I just had to stop and worship. I think it’s important for worship leaders to do that sometimes. It’s easy to get so caught up in doing things “right” that you forget how to relax and truly worship. In the middle of trying to remember the words (especially if the PowerPoint malfunctions), trying to remember the way the song goes (and where you can’t go with the song), and how many times you do this or what sign goes with that part, you also have to allow yourself to “connect” to the song. If you don’t believe what you’re saying, no one else will either. It also helps if you have a great partner who can carry and land the song with or without your help! (Luv you, Babe!)

This coming Sunday morning, I will again believe for miracles along with my Pastor and my church family. On Thursday, we will join together for a day of prayer and fasting and I know that God will honor it. I have found that desperation coupled with sincerity and childlike faith gets His attention like nothing else. He has done it for me many times and I know that He desires to do it for others, too.

It’s Monday…but Sunday's on the way.

It Makes all the Difference...All the Difference in the World!

Yay! What a great, relaxing weekend this has been… My husband actually had today off and my mom-in-law came to visit us! She got into town at 11:30 last night and we stayed up late visiting. Then we got up this morning and had a yummy breakfast, did some shopping, ate lunch and then came back to the house for a quiet, restful, afternoon.

This evening we enjoyed pork chops, baked carrots and broccoli cheese rice for dinner. Now we are sitting in front of the fire having caramel apple cake and visiting. Yeah, I know...we Texans will use any excuse we can find to have a fire!

I really enjoy spending time with my mom-in-law. She has so many wonderful qualities. One thing I love about her is that she is so humble. She doesn’t put on airs or try to be something she’s not. She’s also one of the hardest working people I’ve ever known. I also love how kind and compassionate she is towards everyone…one time (this is for you, Sis. Alba!) we were riding in the car with a loopy elderly person (who shall remain unnamed)and she and Jackie were in the backseat. They were having the nicest little chat and Jackie was even asking her advice on something. The elderly person kept repeating the phrase, “It makes all the difference...all the difference in the world!” To this day, Chris and I still laugh when anyone says, “It makes all the difference...all the difference in the world!”
Anyway, Jackie’s a great lady and I’m glad she’s my mom-in-law.

Well, now they’ve started playing a game and they want me to come join in the fun, so I guess I’ll sign off for now!

Yummmmm...

Technically, fall is here...although you can't tell it in Texas! So even though it's not cold yet, I'm already in the mood for soup!

Here is my favorite Corn Chowder recipe...it's my favorite because it's yummy and it's easy! It's also my favorite because Joel likes it better than Carrie's potato soup!!! LOL

Corn Chowder
1 1/2 cups milk
1 tsp. sugar
1 tsp. butter
2 oz. cream cheese
1 can (14 3/4 oz.) cream style corn
6 oz. can cubed cooked ham (sometimes I use leftover fresh ham)
1 can (14 1/2 oz.) new potatoes (drained)
1 can (15 1/4 oz.) sweet corn
1 cup shredded smoked cheddar, swiss or gouda cheese
green onion slivers for garnish
salt, pepper, and other seasonings to taste

Stir all ingredients together in large pan over medium heat.
Bring to boil.
Reduce heat to low, cover, and simmer, stirring regularly.
Simmer until you can't stand it anymore and just HAVE to eat it! (that's what I do!)

This recipe takes about 30 minutes to make and serves about 4 regular sized servings.

Enjoy!

Do any of you relate?