Consistently and Correctly Stupid

All right, I’m fired up. You already know that I’m a high school teacher… but I’m not just any high school teacher. I love my kids and I believe in them and I get angry when I feel that they’re being attacked. Right now, I’m angry. We have good kids that attend our school and our church. They have the most amazing potential for greatness! They are smart, talented and very generous both with their time and their love for others. I know…”Every mama’s crow is the blackest”, or in my case “every teacher’s”, but mine really are! LOL Seriously, they are great kids, but they, and young people all over the world just like them, are under attack.

The other day I saw a headline referring to the Video Music Awards and purity rings. Well, VMA’s and purity rings in the same sentence??? You bet they had my attention! Apparently, a host of the VMA’s (I do not even stoop to give him Google hits on my page) spent a great deal of time slamming different celebrities who had publicly announced their commitment to remain morally pure until marriage. We don’t do purity rings, but if I understand correctly, they are a symbol of that commitment. As a young person growing up, I didn’t believe in wearing rings so I chose to symbolize my commitment to purity in a different, but no less tangible way. Below is the video of The Today Show spot that Meredith Vieira did on the subject.



Did she just say, “consistently and correctly”?!?!?Most teenagers I know can’t even remember to brush their teeth consistently and correctly…How in the name of common sense can we tell them that if they choose to become sexually active, just use a condom – consistently and correctly! At this age kids are awash in hormones. You’re going to look me in the eye and say (with a straight face, no less!) that in that situation they are going to remember to even wear a condom much less put it on correctly??? Please!

Besides fighting their hormones, they also have to fight their own culture - as you saw in the video. They can’t even go a single day without something sexual being thrown at them. They see it and they hear it everywhere. It’s no wonder that they are curious about it and want to know why God and their parents and their church leaders are the only ones who are telling them no where this is concerned. Our churches are working overtime in Youth Departments all over the nation trying to push back against the flood of immorality that is coming out of Hollywood faster than we can blink. In many cases, Youth Pastors are leading the charge and shouldering much of the responsibility and teaching that happens on this topic. They are the ones who are doing the REAL sex education: the kind that doesn’t say idiotic things like “consistently and correctly”, but things like “Don’t even get into a situation where this could happen! Date in groups! Keep the lights on and your hands to yourself!” In my very humble opinion, sex education is just a way to assuage the conscience of advertisers, producers and other media moguls who are responsible for sexualizing everything our children see and hear. From dolls and children’s underwear (yes, I said CHILDREN’S) to music and movies our kids are inundated every day with either a scantily clad model or an overt message of “Everyone’s doing it but YOU!” This is a lie and I’m glad that someone with the platform had the guts to stand up and say it. Yeah for Jordin Sparks!!!

And by the way, contrary to one of the quotes by the VMA host, “a little sex” has hurt many people. STD’s, unwanted pregnancies and broken hearts are all products of “a little sex.”

As a young person who grew up in the church and had many friends in the church, I can say that I KNOW that good kids mess up; good kids make mistakes; it happens all the time. Some get caught and some don’t. My point is that we shouldn’t expect them to fail, but rather give them the tools they need to succeed. We need to let them know that, with God’s help and our love and support, they can live a morally pure life.

Now, this isn’t to say that I believe that a piece of metal on a kid’s finger is going to keep him pure any more than I believe it would keep a married person faithful to his vows. However, I do think it is important that we as adults show our support for young people who choose to make this kind of commitment in real ways.

If you are a parent with a teenager, I challenge you to actively partner with your Pastor, your child’s Youth Pastor and Sunday School teacher (and anyone else who will love your kids) to push back against the culture. How do you do this? Support, support, support! Don’t let your kids hear you run down their leaders. Teach them to respect them and to follow their lead. Teach, teach, teach! Don’t let the bulk of responsibility rest on the church in this area. If your kids are hearing about this from everyone but you, they’re not hearing about it enough. Tell them why it’s important for them to wait until marriage to have sex. Tell them God’s plan for marriage and love. Focus on the Family has some amazing resources on this topic.

If you are not a parent, but have a relationship with some of these kids, I challenge you to love them and support them and their parents with prayer and encouragement as they walk through this minefield called teenager-hood. Our church is really awesome about this. Many of our young people are already involved in many areas of ministry. They are a true blessing to departments like outreach, Sunday school, Hospitality, music and media. Our Pastor and his wife are consistent in prayer and support for all families, but they have a special love for children and young people. Thank God!

For those of you wondering, yes, my husband and I waited until marriage to consummate our love and I can say with all conviction that I’m so glad we did. Were we perfect? Did we always behave the way that we should have? In all honesty, no. But that’s how I know that good kids don’t always make the best choices – because we were good kids. This is why it’s so important that we teach our kids real, applicable ways of handling these situations, that we actively create ways to lead them to make this type of commitment - and forget about this “consistently and correctly” hogwash.